There was a time when the word “Venezuela” conjured up oil wealth,
beauty queens, and baseball players. Today all those things are
overshadowed by flag-themed tracksuits, histrionically ranting leaders,
and, above all else, lines, lines, lines. The dramatic collapse of the
economy, thanks to chronic mismanagement and plunging oil prices, has
made queues —
las colas, as they are locally known — the most
visible symptom of the country’s failed revolution. And they’ve gotten
far worse under President Nicolás Maduro.
Since coming under government control in 2014,
Ultimas Noticias, one of Venezuela’s highest circulating national newspapers, has become a wellspring of rosy observations. Last week, it
published an article that
succinctly sums up the tragic surrealism of everyday life in what was
once South America’s wealthiest country. Noting that waiting in long
lines has become an unavoidable part of everyday life (“whatever the
reason”), and duly asserting that “life wasn’t made solely to satisfy
our tastes, wants and preferences,” the author offered a series of
helpful tips to make the best of queue-standing:
“Try to stay cheerful, friendly, and make fun conversation with those
next to you in line as well as behind and ahead; read; make sure to
bring an umbrella and a snack; do breathing exercises; meditate and
focus creative energy on the general good…”
And if those suggestions weren’t uplifting enough, the author added a
bit of advice on how to improve one’s relationship with the
supernatural:
“For
those who are religious or philosophical, it’s a marvelous moment to
take stock and gauge the advancement of your spirituality.”
Venezuela’s vigorous manufacture of such banalities is, of course,
nothing new. A few years back, a well known pro-government blog
argued that
waiting in line is actually beneficial, because it makes people value
their goods and protects them against impulsive purchases. That the tone
has since changed from extolling hidden opportunity to counseling weary
patience is telling: the public’s rising frustration has become
impossible for the government to shrug off.
