A Letter To My Daughter

By Thisuri Wanniarachchi –April 2, 2016

Thisuri Wanniarachchi

The world may seem so big, and it is, but don’t let anyone make you feel small. We are not here to stay; billions of people came before us and will keep coming long after we are gone and the world will ‎keep on spinning. But while we are here, remember to change a few things, or at least die trying. It’s rough out here for you than it will be for your brother. And I’m so sorry. I’m going to try to give you everything you’ll ever ask for, but I can’t promise you that there won’t be days when you will feel so deprived just because you were born a woman. They will have so much to say to you, about how you should look, about how you should feel, about what you can and cannot do with your body. The world is full of ugly double-standards. Don’t give in.In the midst of all that chaos, I know you will want to give up and try to fit in, but hold on to who you are. We are born with the privilege of the ability to be blind to injustice. Most remain blind to it their whole lives, it’s the convenient thing to do. But not you, you will learn to see the world for what it truly is.

Travel the world, learn what it is like to live as an ethnic minority. Learn the pedagogy of the oppressed. You are not alone, there are many like us, like women, many different communities out there who get marginalized just because they were born to a political minority. Learn from their strength. Forgive history, but never forget it. ‎Know that more often than not, history repeats itself.

Always remember that the term “tradition” is a very dangerous one. Question it persistently. It has acted as a roof for many conservative, oppressive values since time unknown. Slavery was once tradition. White supremacy is often justified by tradition. In our country, it is also tradition that has always held back women. It is tradition that restricted women to the kitchen. When women want to dress the way they prefer they are told they shouldn’t, as it goes against tradition.When we Sinhalese shamelessly played “Mey Sinhala Apagey Ratai” on loudspeakers in cities where all communities lived, we saw nothing wrong in it. “It’s a traditional song,” we said. When men want to love men, and women want to love women, they get furious. “How dare they? They are disrespecting tradition.” When women give their man a dowry in order to get married, that is in no way derogatory on the value of the woman, it’s tradition. When women take their husband’s name after marriage, it’s not in anyway saying that the woman has to lose the identity she’s grown up with her entire life to please the man, it’s tradition.

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