Oh, what a circus! Oh what a shame!

 We the voters may be the ‘Donkey Serenade’ packed with ‘Istharam Meeharak’ like me. But however helpless our lot maybe, we are not that naïve. We do know how the cookie has been crumbling for the last 73 years. The problem is we have no answer. 

by Capt Elmo Jayawardena-Monday, 31 January 2022

No, this time it is not Argentina that has gone to town, but good old Sri Lanka, my beloved paradisiacal homeland. Only thing missing is a flamboyant Evita-type to come and sing the haunting ‘Don’t cry for me’ to complete the carnival. Maybe they should show “Cry the beloved country” on Sirasa, Derana and Rupavahini so that at least it may wake most of us who are dreaming in technicolor of the coming of ‘milk and honey’. We need to wake up to reality. Yes 73 years is a long time to enjoy freedom from the colonial shackles. That is more than adequate for us to charter our own path to prosperity. Sadly, that has not happened and is not happening and seems like nothing will happen as long as the onus is on us the so called ‘democratic Donkey Serenade’ to choose our own leaders. 

In 2025 we will have the presidential elections and that will be followed by the general elections. These two all-important events will decide who will govern Mother Lanka for another 5 years. That is the laid-out roadmap, like what we saw from the day we became an independent nation. The leadership we sent to the parliament strutted on stage and left, some remained venerated, and some converted themselves to prize-winning villains. Let me get back to all that later. Now I got to set the tone for this story. I want to deal first with the “Donkey Serenade” that is us, the voters. We talk of democracy and our choice, and our vote and we go to the polls. But do we really know for whom to vote?  Did we know that for the last 73 years? If we had the sense to know who should be sent to the parliament would we be living today in a paradise that is totally misplaced and slowly crawling to become a Paradise Lost?  

I agree that it is we who vote and elect the saints to govern us, we the ‘IM’ types. I bet you do not know what an ‘IM’ is? It is a classic definition, ISTHARAM MEEHARAK (first class buffaloes) and I categorically state that I have been a leading ‘IM’ for all the years I have voted. It is not only me but the country’s entire constituency. Be it the man from the North or from the East, or from the South or the West, we who cast our votes are nothing but ‘Istharam Meeharak’, irrespective of which race we belong to or what god we worship. We read the same newspapers, follow the same electronic media, watch the same television shows on the political scene such as Face the Nation, Rathu Ira and Satana and absorb the same information. Then we have Chamuditha or Chethika and their fellow anchor buddies giving voice to angels and archangels from Diyawanna Oya who paint rainbows for themselves and colour their opponents blacker than the very devil. We the ‘IM’ comrades hear all this tomfoolery and swallow hook, line and the fisherman himself when the panelists make the same fairy tale promises. That is how we triumphantly go and waste our valuable votes on the same leaders who have led us ‘down the pallan’ as if it was their birthright to do so.

I wonder whether any of us have the faintest idea whom we should vote for in 2025? Or is there any logical way we could deduce who the right candidates should be? Aren’t you and I both confirmed ‘IM’ types filled with blissful ignorance to the real facts as to why Mother Lanka has steadily disintegrated to a pauperized debt-ridden Paradise?

The elections will come and the contestants will paint themselves in Lily White and promise the moon and the Milky Way. As for us the ‘IM’s, we will wake with the sun and toddle to the booths and paint our thumbs purple and cast our vote to ruin ourselves and our country for another 5 years.

The only thing that will be left for us is the stupid celebration after the voting is over. Yes, we can light crackers and eat kiribath while our much-loved motherland steps into another slippery slope.

That is the ‘Democratic Donkey Serenade’ we eagerly wait for in 2025.

Let’s now change course and see what the ruling class contesting the elections comprises. There is a simple definition, we do not need appointed committees and pastured judiciary to come with their scales of justice and measure who’s guilty and who remains innocent. For all our years of independence was there anyone who paraded in the parliament ever sent behind bars? We must not forget that kissing goes by favour. Either you are embraced and kissed or thrust aside and kicked. That is how the first lady Prime Minister of the world lost her civic rights and the Field Marshall who led the Army to victory stood in line wearing prison garb and carrying a bucket. No politician was sent behind bars for corruption. The two who were in jail, the man from Hanguranketha and the celluloid hero, wore the prison attire for contempt of court. That has been our democracy, Man! For 73 years all the politicians on a corruption parade hasbeen as clean as whistles.

How then can we define even a semblance of a solution to the political quagmire we are stuck in?  We need to admit the truth on dirty dealing       and begin from there to seek a remedy.  From all facts and figures that are available to the voting ‘Donkey Serenade’ it is clear that the ‘Par for the Diyawanna Oya course’ is nothing but CORRUPTION.

Of course, there are some among the leadership who play below par and even some who have the distinct honour and integrity of a zero handicap. Like in golf that is the best. Such men and women may seem insignificant in numbers and voiceless in the melee, but they are our only hope. We cannot paint them with the same dark brush as the ‘Forty Thieves’. There are genuine politicians who are honest as the day that dawns.  But unfortunately, the majority are corrupt to the core, well- represented by all parties. They play way above par and are hell-bent on serving themselves the Lion’s share the moment the spoon is in their hands. So much so it is almost the norm of the system to be in the above par category when one starts wielding political power. “He that is without sin among thee, let him cast the first stone”. So says the good book. The tragedy is the stones are all there, piled up to mete justice. But unfortunately, there is hardly anyone innocent of corruption to cast even a a single pebble. 

We the voters may be the ‘Donkey Serenade’ packed with ‘Istharam Meeharak’ like me. But however helpless our lot maybe, we are not that naïve. We do know how the cookie has been crumbling for the last 73 years. The problem is we have no answer. We are no different to the mythological Sisyphus, pushing the big boulder up the steep hill. We do it every 5 years with all our guile and strength and reach the top. Then the inevitable happens. The rock slips and rolls down shattering to smithereens all our fervently-expected political hopes. 

Hasn’t that happened before? Then why not again?

2025 is not far away. It is time for us to get ready again to go around the political Mulberry Bush. Already we have seen the big guns preparing to hit the trail with meticulous planning. They are sure to be ready to run to the winning post with all barrels firing. The cards are shuffled, and the hands are dealt, and the bargaining and trading will go on till the last day. Prospective parliamentarians will get pigeon-holed under the symbols of their godfathers. All this is done to get our vote and collect the number of seats required to rule the parliament. The strategy is fool proof, proven beyond a decibel of a doubt during our entire independent democratic years.

I do not think that the coming election in three years’ time will be any different. One powerful reason for that is the ‘Donkey Serenade’ filled with people like you and me who will follow the script and cast our votes the way we did before. Remember what happened to the two Army Commanders? They thought they could shake the pillars like the biblical Samson. Sadly, it was they who fell, the pillars held. Apart from the military men there were others who believed they could change the tide. Maybe with the best of intentions. They are lucky if they got away by losing only their deposits and avoided getting crucified in the shadows. 

The elections, if the truth be voiced, are for the Grand Political Masters and their not so grand platform promises. That is the covenant for the Istharam Meeharak who vote and elect them. 

The day we vote for someone who can take the tiller and eradicate corruption from Diyawanna Oya is the day Sri Lanka will turn around and become the Paradise it ought to be. 

Then the question is …….will it ever happen?